May 13

Reagan is 5 months old today so I wanted to say a few things before heading to bed.

Last year on May 13 I saw (& heard!) her for the first time:

(May 13, 2010)

Seeing this & hearing the tha-thump, tha-thump, tha-thump of her little heart was exhilarating.  I knew I was pregnant, I had (& still have) the (positive) test from the dollar store & the slightly more expensive (& even more positive) test I took to try & convince Trey, but nothing prepares you for the hearing the heartbeat.  I left the doctor's office, armed with the photo evidence I needed, & was able to keep my secret one more day before finally telling our parents at dinner the following night.  I cannot explain how difficult a secret it was to keep.  "Y'all want to meet for dinner at 7?  Ok, that sounds good.  See you then.  Oh by the way, I'M GROWING A PERSON!" 

Today, the photo evidence continues to mount in my favor:

(May 13, 2011)

Throughout this last year I have been continually amazed by the process of a baby's development.  I would read about what was happening from week to week, & then sit back & think "Huh.  This week there are two new human eyes developing inside me."  All the more amazing is that I basically sat around & did very little, and yet she grew & developed & continues to do so every day.  It all screams "God!" & reminds me of this C.S. Lewis quote:

A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word 'darkness' on the walls of his cell.

  

I guess that's what I immediately thought when I heard her heartbeat the first time; God is good.  Not a new revelation for me, but an audible affirmation of who I serve & what His plans were for me.  Reagan was tiny, but her heartbeat was strong.  I heard her before I saw her & at every subsequent appointment I'd close my eyes & eagerly wait for the tha-thump, tha-thump, tha-thump.  

God is always with us & speaks to us in many ways, most notably through His word, but I contend that our children are certainly His messengers - tiny sermons that continually present new challenges, but also constantly remind us of our blessings.  While church has a lot to offer someone whose faith is weak (or nonexistent), I'd also suggest attending a friend's sonogram if it's possible.  There is perhaps no clearer picture of God this side of Heaven.

AZ