Sunday, April 8, 2018

Quicksilver Moments

Pat Conroy, The Prince of Tides

Good Sunday evening.

My only objective this evening is to record my day yesterday, Saturday, April 7, 2018. If you've been here since the beginning (of the blog, not of time), you may recall early blogs were no more than me gushing about every little thing Reagan did. A lot has happened in the years that have unfolded since I began chronicling Reagan's life in this little corner of cyberspace. Reagan has a brother. Reagan has diabetes. Reagan's mom is not thirty anymore. Reagan has grown & changed a lot, & this blog has grown & changed a lot. On the blog I've reviewed books, shared political thoughts, shared my own writing, & ranted about a variety of things including but not limited to politicians, carbohydrates, & books that don't end as I feel they should. 

Don't panic. I am not about to announce I am retiring from blogging. Since, oh, around October of last year, I often find myself asking myself, Why am I doing this?, What was the original reason I went down this road?, Is this still a positive thing, a good thing, a healthy thing? Essentially I am reexamining purpose as that applies to a variety of areas in my life. 

If you google purpose, the first thing that pops up is, "the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists." As applied to this blog, the purpose has evolved somewhat over the years, but when I sat down last night & again this afternoon & attempted to write, all that I wanted to do was document my day with Reagan yesterday. I smiled when I realized that was my original purpose in creating a blog. I used to dedicate entire blogs to what solid foods Reagan was eating on the regular, so in lieu of anything philosophical, I'm going to tell you about my date with her yesterday. I actually had two dates yesterday (one with Reagan & one with her father). If I'm going to wash my hair on a Saturday, I am going to make it count. 

Let's back up a bit so I can share these gems with you. 

Earlier this week Reagan put together this tiny Dory puzzle. She grew impatient waiting for me to show up to take a picture of her with her masterpiece, & so she took a rather excellent selfie with the Dory puzzle. I love her face. 

These below were also taken this last week. When we went through all the paperwork & billing rigamarole with the people who sold us Reagan's new insulin pump, we were told they'd credit us $500 for turning in her old insulin pump. We didn't even have to pay for shipping. They sent us the packaging you see her holding below. Anyway, Reagan wanted to take some pictures of her telling her old insulin pump farewell. 

So, onto Saturday's date. I am going to be honest & tell you I am a little bit proud of the person I was on Saturday. I was a person who made the most of the day. I was a person who exercised, showered, & devoted the one day a week she doesn't have to shower & dress & venture into public spaces to the people she loves. There are theories floating around that this is *ideally* the person I should be each & every day, but hey, everyone has theories. Let's just focus on Saturday for now. 

My efforts were largely made possible by the nine hours of sleep I enjoyed Friday night as well as my concerted effort to come home from school Friday & accomplish most of my Saturday chores on Friday evening. I came home from school, allowed myself about half an hour in the bed, & then I rose & proceeded to straighten the house, do a lot of laundry, & wash Reagan's hair. Y'all, her hair is so long. She needs at least two inches trimmed, but that's something on my Eventually-it-is-not-an-emergency list.

Saturday morning brought with it the usual Saturday morning chores: feed the dog, help Henry as he stumbles to the potty with a full bladder, pour Henry's milk, check blood sugar, dose insulin for breakfast, unload the dishwasher that ran overnight, fold a few clothes, & finally, at long last, get back in bed with some coffee. It is at this point that my productivity on Saturdays usually takes a nosedive . . . but not yesterday. 

After I drained that first cup of coffee, I was a machine. I exercised for an hour (I note that it was about forty degrees outside yesterday morning). I showered. I dressed myself & both the kids. I force-fed Sophie the dog the last of the pills she's been taking for a rash. I dropped Henry at my in-laws' house, & Reagan & I were officially alone.

I mentioned on here recently that over Spring Break I went shopping alone one day because I had a gift certificate to a local boutique. I casually mentioned to Reagan that the boutique carries clothes & shoes in her size, & I thought she might like to go by one day & look. "One day" was Saturday, approximately three days after I casually mentioned she might enjoy browsing with me. Our first stop after the Henry-drop-off was Cracker Barrel. We ate a late lunch in frigid temps. I was hoping they'd have a fire going to celebrate the wonderful April temperature drop. Not only was there no fire, but they seated us by a drafty window that resulted in some mother-daughter shivering. 

We took this waiting for our warm biscuits. I'm not crazy about the way the light from the window highlights the wrinkles on my forehead, but it is a good picture of her.

I was immensely proud of her efforts while shopping. I explained her sizes to her & let her fly.

A fun & ironic thing I haven't told you is the reason I had to take Henry to his grandparents' house while Reagan & I shopped is . . . Trey was at work doing our taxes. 

I want to say a few things about Cara's. I'm not sure why I only recently made my way in this lovely place. If you're local, it's right by the West Monroe Eskamoe's. Their goodies can be found online ---> here. Here's what I like about Cara's: It is not at the mall. It is small enough that I can browse for me while Reagan browses, & I feel totally relaxed & safe. It is truly a great place for mothers & daughters to shop together. The prices are low, the clothes are cute & comfortable, & the money I spend there stays here; it lines the pockets of ladies who live here & love this area & are raising their families here.

After leaving Cara's with our arms full of great stuff, Reagan & I ran in the grocery store for a few things before racing to pick up Henry & heading back home. We were running & racing because my parents were coming to the house to keep the kids while Trey & I went to see Chappaquiddick, which I am proud to say I've finally learned how to spell without having to google. I guess in the end I've learned something & taken steps to improve myself even if Ted Kennedy never did. I shared some detailed thoughts about the film on my Facebook page if you care to read. 

Some selfies with my second Saturday date (I am immensely popular for someone whose preferred habitat is my bed):

I'd also like to add that I think this is a most excellent film poster:

This is one of the first pictures of Reagan I posted to the blog:

She's seven now & shopping like a pro, taking selfies, reading to her brother, & learning how to use all the bells & whistles on her new insulin pump. It is good & necessary to stop at times & recall why we do what we do. How did we fall into our routines? What were our original goals? I suppose my original goal in this endeavor was to firm up quicksilver moments for my children, moments & memories that otherwise might only come back to them in fragments and shivers of the heart, to borrow Mr. Conroy's lovely phrase. 

I'll leave you with this, an image that would have made no sense to me when the above photo was taken, but an image that now makes my heart sing:

Insofar as blood sugar readings / pump / sensor issues are concerned, our week is off to an excellent start. The sensors she wears that transmit her number to the transmitter that then sends her number to her pump have been giving me fits. Basically they work, but they're not working as long as they're supposed to, which quickly becomes an expensive problem. I have a few tricks up my sleeve left to try before I moan & wail on the kitchen floor. If moaning & wailing takes place, I'll have Reagan put her new photography skills to use & share the event with you fine readers. 


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