Last year on May 13 I saw (& heard!) her for the first time:
(May 13, 2010)
Seeing this & hearing the tha-thump, tha-thump, tha-thump of her little heart was exhilarating. I knew I was pregnant, I had (& still have) the (positive) test from the dollar store & the slightly more expensive (& even more positive) test I took to try & convince Trey, but nothing prepares you for the hearing the heartbeat. I left the doctor's office, armed with the photo evidence I needed, & was able to keep my secret one more day before finally telling our parents at dinner the following night. I cannot explain how difficult a secret it was to keep. "Y'all want to meet for dinner at 7? Ok, that sounds good. See you then. Oh by the way, I'M GROWING A PERSON!"
Today, the photo evidence continues to mount in my favor:
(May 13, 2011)
Throughout this last year I have been continually amazed by the process of a baby's development. I would read about what was happening from week to week, & then sit back & think "Huh. This week there are two new human eyes developing inside me." All the more amazing is that I basically sat around & did very little, and yet she grew & developed & continues to do so every day. It all screams "God!" & reminds me of this C.S. Lewis quote:
A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word 'darkness' on the walls of his cell.
I guess that's what I immediately thought when I heard her heartbeat the first time; God is good. Not a new revelation for me, but an audible affirmation of who I serve & what His plans were for me. Reagan was tiny, but her heartbeat was strong. I heard her before I saw her & at every subsequent appointment I'd close my eyes & eagerly wait for the tha-thump, tha-thump, tha-thump.
God is always with us & speaks to us in many ways, most notably through His word, but I contend that our children are certainly His messengers - tiny sermons that continually present new challenges, but also constantly remind us of our blessings. While church has a lot to offer someone whose faith is weak (or nonexistent), I'd also suggest attending a friend's sonogram if it's possible. There is perhaps no clearer picture of God this side of Heaven.